whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
