My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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