Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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