It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
