Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
organizing the empties. That sober.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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