I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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