I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
