I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
