Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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