Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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