If that was your dad, he is hot
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
