i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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