I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
