your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
