while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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