My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
