then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
