its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
