just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Its about making memories worth repressing
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
