Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
