My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
