We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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