And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
