That's intense
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
