Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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