can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
