oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
