it wasn't lemon gatorade
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
