i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
