I need help removing her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
