Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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