i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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