i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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