I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
