Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
