He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
