Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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