I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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