im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
