I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
