There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
