ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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