oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
