You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
