It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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