Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
