I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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