went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
