ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
