they need to just BURY HIM!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
