So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
