420 ftw
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
