He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
